


Through the Gloaming They Rode

by Malu_3 (Grainne)



Series: Merlin Summer Pornathon 2014 [10]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arthur Pendragon Returns, Crack, Humor, Jobseeker!Arthur, M/M, Novelist!Arthur, Purple Prose, Romance, Summer Pornathon 2014
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 20:18:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2283228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grainne/pseuds/Malu_3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur's back, The Big Quest (still) has yet to reveal itself, and much to Merlin's chagrin, he's turned his hand to writing <s>bodice</s> tunic-rippers based on their past adventures.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through the Gloaming They Rode

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mizufae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mizufae/gifts).



> Entry for the WEEK 3 BONUS CHALLENGE: PURPLE ROMANCE! Just so you know, if I thought I could get away with it, I would legit write like this 62% of the time, so for the love of English, people, HUG YOUR EDITORS/BETAS! Dedicated to Mizufae, who had nothing whatsoever to do with this, to her massive credit.

_"Through the gloaming they rode, the good sir knight, strapping and effulgent of hair, towering – "_

"Stop. Stop! Effulgent? Arthur, that sounds…as if you've got jizz in your hair or something."

"It means radiant, Merlin. Emanating joy and goodness."

"Hair shouldn’t emanate anything."

"Do you or do you not want to get out of this crappy flat?"

"Do."

"Then go away and let me get on with my work."

"But – "

 _"Through the gloaming they rode, the good sir knight, strapping and effulgent of hair, towering over his raven-haired companion, who was slumped before him in the saddle like a wan sack of grain, slender and lithe as a girl –_ "

"UGH! Would you please, _please_ stop using that phrase."

"But I… I mean it in a nice way this time. See, I'm saying you're – "

"Besides, 'slender' and 'lithe' are redundant, and don't even get me started on 'wan sack of grain.' I don't see what could possibly be erotic about dehumanising _and_ emasculating one of your main characters."

"That's because you haven't heard the rest. If you won't leave, at least stop interrupting."

 _"…who was slumped before him in the saddle like a wan sack of grain, slender and lithe as a girl, save between his legs where a great tumescence was gathering, rearing up like a blind, greedy worm from its nest of ebon curls –_ "

"Excuse me?!"

 _" – roused from rest by the mere proximity of the handsome knight and his heady man-musk. The knight could not help but notice, of course, and he was sorely tempted to shed glove and gauntlet both and –_ "

"Oh, you mean _this_ worm, right here?"

"Merlin, get your cock off my desk."

 _" – ease his companion's discomfort with deft and skilful touch, hot flesh to hot flesh, letting the rhythm of the stallion's gait carry the distraught sorcerer to sticky satiation._ "

"I prefer warlock. Purely to lessen the alliteration."

"Fine. Cock. Off."

"And just so you know, the PETA die-hards are going to raise a stink over me coming all over that poor horse."

"But you don't. Good sir knight is only _thinking_ about fetching the sorcerer off as – "

"Warlock."

" – the _warlock_ off as they ride triumphant towards the city gates. He doesn't actually do it, as you well know."

"Tch! You mean you're just going to leave me there, parading naked into Camelot with a massive boner?"

"No, Merlin, I'm going to do exactly what I did back then. Listen.

_"But the knight was a man of honour, a paragon of courtly virtue, and he knew he could never force so rude an act out in the open on one so innocent and pure–_

"Merlin, don't snort. It doesn't become you.

_" – so innocent and pure. So as the resolute walls, rampant towers and ebullient pennants of the castle came into view, he turned his mount towards a lesser-used path, a tufted trail that led towards a hidden postern gate."_

"So the good sir knight is familiar with sneaking in the back door, eh? Sounds about right."

_"From there it was but a stone's throw to the royal stables, where the knight knew the two of them might tarry for long hours, eagerly taking their pleasure of one another's war-weary bodies amidst the straw and supple leather before news of their triumph reached the court, and the guards would be set to watching for their return._

_"There, he would taste his companion's essence, would savour the weeping, throbbing tip as well as the moist core of him, would lap and probe at his rosy furl until it blossomed into a greedy nether-mouth, pink and wet, that would grasp his swollen, meaty member and welcome it inside, the sublime, carnal pleasure of their joining – at long last! – accompanied by the tintinnabulation of –_

"Gah! MERLIN! Did you seriously just… on my Moleskine… that is _disgusting._ "

"Sorry. Just… Memories, yeah? Good times. Though I'm a wee bit worried I'm developing a thing for your torture of the English language."


End file.
